Farmer Charged with Cannibalism

Plains - State and Federal authorities raided a farm early today and arrested P. N. Goober on several charges. Goober had been under investigation for several months according to FBI special agent, U. R. Sunc. Neighbors, who wish to remain anonymous, told the Gazette that they have been suspicious of cult activities taking place on the Goober farm since several of Goober's offspring suddenly went missing last spring. Goober reportedly told his neighbors that he had sent them on a mission trip to feed homeless folks in Atlanta. Authorities have found no trace of the missing offspring.

State authorities began their investigation when the local school system reported the unexplained withdrawal of the young Goobers from school. Goober maintains his innocence by stating, "I'm only doing what's normal for a peanut farmer. What is wrong with feeding the poor and homeless?"

Authorities discounted his explanation when he greeted them with a smile on his face. The most serious among the charges is attempted bribery of law enforcement and cannibalism. See (see p. 2) for photos.