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Remains Found - Foul Play Suspected
Atlanta - Authorities in Atlanta have found what they believe are the partial remains of the missing offspring of P. N. Goober. The remains were found in various locations, including several downtown apartments as well as food banks and soup kitchens.
FBI spokesperson, Yvette Prye, told the Gazette that the case is ongoing and that numerous leads have yet to be investigated. Tissue samples have been sent to University of Jawjah experimental farm and labs in Griffin for DNA testing.
Goober, still incarcerated, and unable to raise bail, maintains his innocence. Speaking on his behalf, public defender, R. U. Sirius, said the offspring went on a mission trip to feed poor folks in Atlanta. State authorities began their investigation when the local school system reported the unexplained withdrawal of the young Goobers from school.
See p. 3 for photos. See Original story.
Unrest tied to another statue
Plains - Statue controversy has surfaced in south Jawjah. The Gazette is currently following up on tips that angry peanut farmers are protesting for the removal of a statue near Plains. They contend that the statue is demeaning to peanut farmers and should be removed or replaced. The Gazette will publish updates to keep our readers informed about the unrest in south Jawjah.
Unnamed sources near Plains say the hoopla is about a statue erected to honor a well known nuclear physicist who lives nearby. Photo below:
