My camping buddy said he woke up from a 3 dog night.

What do you call them folks who send the world wide web through wires? They is your Internet service provider.

My engineering buddy built his own house. He calls it an A Frame

My neighbor, Clem, borrowed his boss's car. He was told to make sure he returned it with a Clean Windshield.

Bocephus Cumquot went to buy a car and the salesman tried to get him to buy a Compact car.

Right after hauling a load of shine and having to run from the law, Jr Hickson said, "I will be Cooling my dogs.".

Mary June told Jim Bob to park 2 cars out front -- not on the grass. He said, let's " double deck 'em.".

Clara Mae told my boy they would be ridin' a new fangled double decker bus to school.

My wife told me her new recipe calls for something I'd really like to see. Whoever heard of dicing vegetables ?

Nathan McGlilacladdy said he went on a date with a real dog last night.

Festus likes to ride the subway -- says it's a easy way to see plenty of Hot Tomatos .

My girl told me that whilst she was walking to school yesterday, she saw a rare pink caterpillar.

Wanna be good at training your dogs? Make sure you use positive reinforcement.

The missus said she needed help cleaning the commode. I built her a power brush .

My kids complained they ain't strong enough to clear their own clogs. I told 'em to use the power plunger.

My cuz Mortimer joind the police force. He has always been a standup guy.