Notice to all Yankees:
All us Southerners already know this. This is a
fair warning to all Yankees (northerners who
visit the south)
or D___ Yankees (northerners who come south and
stay)
- Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They
serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook
something they know.
- Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie,
Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, MaryBeth and Inez have
been known to whip up on a man for less than
that.
- Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of
soda, this can lead to a beating. Down here it's
called Co Cola , even if you want a Pepsi.
- Southern women don't fancy smart mouth
Yankees. Just remember, they all have brothers
and daddies.
- Don't show allegiances to any other school
in football other than an SEC team. All the
others are a bunch of sissies who play Wyoming
every week.
- Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies.
Most of us are more literate than you (See:
Welty, Williams, Faulkner, et al), better
educated and a whole lot nicer to boot. We've got
plenty of common sense, too. (See: MTV, Netscape,
Turner Broadcasting, WorldCom, etc) Not that we
can't act foolishly (See: Clinton, Fordice, et
al). But that's none of your business. We don't
care if you think we're dumb (see: Andy
Griffith). We know better.
- Yes, we know the humidity is high, just
quit belly aching, spend your money and go home.
- No, the state symbol of Louisiana is not
the orange and white highway barrel. This road
construction is aggrevating us too (it's
Tennessee, anyway)
- Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order
toast. If you do this everyone will know you're
from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God
intended.
- Don't try to talk with a southern accent
if you don't have one. Nothing makes us madder
than a Southern wannabe. (see: Dan Ackroyd,
Driving Miss Daisy).
- Don't be telling everybody how much better
it was back home. If you don't like it
here, Delta is ready when you are!
-
We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those
other sissy northern games, so don't be asking
about those scores, cause we just don't care.
- Most of us know how to speak proper
English. We talk like we often do because we
want to. It's kinda like playing Jazz, you have
to know how to do it right.
- By ALL means, do not try to tell us how
to Bar B Que. This could cost you your work visa.
You're mighty lucky we're letting you stay down
here anyway, don't push your luck!
Thanks to my friend Goldie Meow.
HUMOR PAGES
UMTEEN WAYS TO ANNOY YANKEES
YANKEE'S GUIDE TO ATLANTA
ETIQUETTE FOR YANKEES IN THE SOUTH
ETIQUETTE FOR REDNECKS
WHAT'S HELL TO A BIG EATER ?
HAZARDOUS SUBSTANCE ?
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